Saturday, December 1, 2007

Life lessons; Pots, Fire & Patience

Ahhhhhhh life. The glorious, magical, every-changing thing we call life. I have been gone a lot longer than I expected...and boy oh boy has the universe revealed many things to me for which I am eternally grateful.

I went to New Orleans (back home) for Thanksgiving and it was wonderful to see my mom in her house for the first time since Hurricane Katrina ;-) I helped organize and prepare for Thanksgiving dinner. And while I had all these fancy fancy plans for what I could create while I was there. I got so into the spirit of things and family, I totally forgot! I am being 100% honest. I dished up everyone's Thanksgiving Gumbo and food (macaroni and cheese, stuffed bell peppers, oyster dressing...and other slimy, yucky, colon clogging things) and I sat down and realized I had forgotten to make myself something!! Isn't that great!!!???? I thought it was beautiful. I reached over and grabbed a few apples and had a mono meal Thanksgiving dinner. I led grace and we had a wonderful meal. I felt so light and so free and while I watched all of my family "stuff" those bulky, heavy plates of doo doo into their bodies, I didn't feel judgmental, I felt amazing that this holiday will never again be anything other than a day to give grace. And I know for those who struggle with holidays, it IS wise to have raw alternative meals prepared. I can honestly say that I do not. Cooked food (vegan cooked is sometimes pleasing to my sense of smell) is not even edible to me. It seems like foreign food. ....truly....ahhhhhhhh I love it.

While in New Orleans, I somehow wound up on cooking, cleaning, babysitting duty FULL TIME. What I thought was going to be a vacation, turned into an extremely hard, never-ending job. And instead of pouting or feeling like "why are they doing this to me? Why are they using me?", I stepped back and realized that this is all my doing. I have created the situation where I step in and step up and do things for people that they should be doing themselves. I cripple people by always solving their problems and interfering in their lives in order to "help" them. I also always do this at the expense of my own things. I even wound up physically sick..with cold like symptoms. Something that does NOT happen often. The universe was really telling me to ssssllllllloooooowwwwwww down. All of this came flooding to me like the water when the levees broke! I was astonished...overhwlemed....heartbroken and F-R-E-E. I put down the "do gooder" hat and picked up on own tattered, neglected, dingy hat and began to dust it off. And here I stand. I started off doing a great job of keeping my food journal and then it became too much of a hassle. Yet another one of those things for me I put to the side to do things for others. Please by no means misunderstand me to say that you have to be selfish to do what you need to do in life. That is not my message at all!! It's just that if you run yourself ragged doing for others without caring for yourself, you aren't doing anyone any favors. It may seem like you are, but you really aren't.

There is a saying that you "have too many pots in the fire". That means you are trying to do too many things at once. I interpret that to mean if too many pots are in the fire....then no one pot is actually getting cooked. They are all just lukewarm . I had to look at my life and pull some pots out of the fire. I LOVE this fascinating world of raw foods and of getting the message out to others...motivating and inspiring...uplifting. I have a natural talent for it. As most know, I care for a sick small child. Kennedy is three and in addition to her fascinating Autism, she has a host of metabolic, physiological problems as well. I have put SO many things on the side for her care and I would have had it NO other way. Well, I have stepped into the reality of my life and I know that her conditions will be what they are and that I need to focus on my life as well as hers. With that said, I have plunged headfirst back into my thesis. YES. I am a graduate school student studying Community Psych & Social Change. I have decided that what is meant for my life will happen and that I am not in a race with anyone to accomplish my goals. I sat down and took a few of the pots out of my fire. So as for now, this one pot is getting uncooked well done!

So some dreams will be set aside...though only shortly, while I accomplish others. I'll be back tomorrow with my menus...updates. Though my blogs will be a bit shorter if the near future, they will be constant (Tai-Kiah ;-)
In light and love


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