Wednesday, February 11, 2009

Realizations about Health and Happiness

I have been having trouble posting to the blog...sorry about the absence.
Things have been insane.Kennedy is much better now. She spent almost 8 days in the hospital. I was so nervous. I slept terribly and ate a ton of dried fruit and nuts JUST to survive. I was so hungry and used her hospital windowsill as a makeshift restaurant for salads and smoothies. Yes I did bring my tiny blender. I had an epiphany in the hospital. This news may shock some (but please keep the mean emails to yourself this time :-), I don't want to be 100% raw anymore. Raw= YES. 100%= NO. There were so many "healthy" versions of fresh brown rice and sauteed veggie options and instead I was eating 3xs the calories in nuts and almond butter b/c it's raw??? Bullshit.
As I changed my mind about a few things, I started doing research (of course!) about the history of cooked food and the reliability of comparing myself to an ape who only eats leaves and bananas. I then started seeking out people who are REALLY healthy who eat cooked foods (of course with lots of raw) and I got inspired. More inspired than I have in a very long time. I read up about macrobiotics (still tryna figure that one out...advice?) But definitely got in touch with the process of being grounded and centered.While in the hospital sleeping an average of 2-3 hours a night (broken up between the 24 hour day), I wrote in my journal about perfection. No such thing. And I don't want to play into any of it anymore.
So I take the labels away. Do I still consider myself raw? Yes I do and always will, but I won't put a percentage with it unless some asks me for clarification. I still of course advocate for the raw diet, just as I do for the vegan diet...forevermore, but as soon as I tightened the reins from around my neck, I felt free again.
I have been eating healthier than I have been in a long time and I'm religiously taking my enzymes. My cooked meals come mainly as my last meal of the day and I feel wonderful. Of the 7lbs I gained, I have lost 2 lbs and counting. People had me thinking that the second I ate an ounce of cooked food that I would gain 900 lbs.I decided that with school starting, I am NOT setting that high of a bar for exercise. You all know I am the mom of an awesome mostly-at-home 4 year old kiddo with Autism. I am SO busy. I spent a ton of time that I could have been doing schoolwork at the gym. So as it begins to warm up, I will get in my garage on my treadmill and go for early morning walks when school picks back up for Kennedy. She's been out for 4.5 weeks now. And I will use my weights in my house and get to the gym when I can. She loves it there and that is always a plus.So my diet has been something like this:green juice and fruit til noon.salad with greens, avo, veggies of all kinds (maybe lightly steamed broc, but most likely not)green smoothie snackdinner 1/2 or whole baked sweet potato, salad, steamed veggies. OR brown rice sauteed with olive oil garlic onion and veggies with a huge salad and TWO enzymes.I know that writing every morsel, taking pictures of all of my food and obsessing about if something is 100% raw while still eating packaged "raw foods" and "chips" and "bars" and thinking that whole foods like yams, and lentils = death.
How did I let THAT happen???I am not sure what works for everyone, but I do know what works for me. MODERATE exercise NOT excessive. TONS of raw foods in their natural states and not 75 step ingredient raw food combination dinners (although delicious when I can get to a raw restaurant) and some GROUNDING cooked WHOLE foods.I feel better than I have in a long time and I hope my honestly inspires someone else to know they do NOT have to try to attain something...some goal like 100% raw thinking it will be the KEY...it won't. I was 100% for a year and half. that was long enough to know it wasn't working for me.
I love being vegan and will never be anything but vegan....but I encourage others to find what works for them and then WORK IT!Speaking of gourmet raw...I went to CA and ate at my favorite south of the Bay raw cafe'....yum yum, yum.
I did stay 100% raw while in CA and AGAIN wished that i had transitioned to more cooked before I left b/c there were really healthy vegan whole food options there and I didn't eat any of it b/c I didn't' have my enzymes and I was afraid of getting sick in any way while out of town. I'm making a lentil veggie soup for tomorrow nite, I will keep you posted.

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