Okay hold up...NOT with a guy :)... with me.
All of the stuff that has happened with Kennedy has truly forced to me "put up or shut up" in the spirituality department. My love for God (as I know her) has expounded and I am finding myself coming up on the other side of the mountain. As Kennedy is climbing toward health and healing and recovery...so am I. I am giving myself space and time to feel all of the emotions that almost losing a child brings and using all of this as a catalyst to run forth into the life I have always wanted.
People are always telling me that my life will be better and easier if I have a husband...in essence a partner. While on some counts, I am sure that is true... I am not ready for that. I am cultivating my love for myself and for Kennedy and am healing all the broken places in my soul and shining light in some very dark places. For now...my mission is self healing, cleansing and extreme self care. My next post will be a book review of some amazing stuff that I have been reading.
I haven't had time to get to the gym and am thinking of suspending my membership for a few months. I have been moving my godpod though! yoga...weights...cardio. My approach to fitness is new and exciting and includes as much mental and spiritual fitness as it does physical fitness! As a result I am so excited about my workouts. Truth is I have always been excited about them. I am NOT the one who dreads going to the gym or working out. Being at home though has reminded me of the convenience and pleasures of working out there. I love it!!! The gym holds a soft spot in my heart, but I lost most all of my 60-70lbs at home! GASP. In fruity colored socks and tie dyed spandex pants (yep for real!)
So, I am not wasting time with my commute and am instead meditating for a LOT longer. My brain and soul are calling me to the zafu. And I find myself transported into a world of wholeness where everything makes sense. If ever I find myself seeking...anything...partner, money, peace...I remind myself that it is all inside of me.
It is slowing becoming Fall here on the East Coast. I am craving carrot apple juice...cinnamon....quinoa... sauteed spinach...sweet potatoes. Yum. I'm doing green smoothies everyday as I feel out of balance. Eating hospital food for months and frozen organic vegan tv dinners leaves you devoid of a healthy Ph. So I am on the hunt to green my godpod, clean out junk....and slowly transition into the life that I want. Accepting what is...day by day.
How are you doing?