Thursday, June 20, 2013

Turning The Page...

 I'm fixing these two sides of me. The authentic self and the scared self.
I've recently made major life changes. My job was sucking the joy out of all aspects of my life so.... I quit- basically. I kept one client. Although it is a more involved case, I believe in this family and this kiddo reminds me of my daughter so much...I couldn't let go. Yes it brings about some financial strain, but IMO it is worth it.

The past few months I couldn't put one foot in front of the other on solid ground. Any training program I put together was quickly demolished with bad food choices and late, late, paperwork filled nights. I was sick of complaining, so I took serious action. I was actually very scared. Full of fear. This as you will learn in this honest post has been holding me back.

Oh crap...honesty time. Here goes... My daughter suffers with tons of anxiety. She has for a very long time. You have to imagine being in and out of hospitals her entire life could create such a problem. Well, I won't medicate her for it. What I have noticed is that over the past few years, I began to be really anxious about some things. Fear crept into spaces in my life where it normally wouldn't have. I chose not to start real desire grouped with a fear of all kinds of things (do you watch the news?)

I never started my youtube channel because I really started wondering...will people think any of this info is seriously useful? Will anyone even watch it? I've erased all those thoughts. My bday is next week and it will start 1 year= 365 days of fearless living. Doing what I want to do. Grabbing life by the bra strap and making things happen.

That anxiety/fear is what kept me from really engaging in life in the ways that I wanted to. I started a daily mantra of "Be authentic/No fear" when those feelings started coming up. Hence the quitting my job. It didn't matter how much money it pays. The stress wasn't worth it. AT ALL.

There will be some changes to the blog by the end of this week. As you know I'm a solo operation....and all for free. I even stopped being a Beach Body coach (I'll write a post about why), but I want to add tons of stuff and my goal is to turn this blog into (my personal thoughts and rants) and also an information hub for vegans/ new vegans/ those new to yoga/ and new to raw food/healthy living! I am so excited!!!

Here's what I've been up to:
  • Eating whole foods, but not restricting ANY food. For example, when trying to lose a few pounds (like I am now), I would normally try not to eat out, skip dessert, etc. Not now. I am eating smaller portions of every single thing I want to eat and truly logging it all on MyFitnessPal Page--- click to add me as a friend!
  • Working out in the morning 3 days per week and in the evening with my one training client for 5 days per week (strength AM, cardio (Insanity) PM)---- I am not a real Insanity lover, my knee is killing me WITH a brace on. More on that later... post coming
  • I stopped relaxing my hair about 7 months ago and this transition is stressful!
  • Taking time to meditate/journal every day of the week. This is as important as the other stuff that I'm doing actually. If not moreso. I am not very religious although I went to 13 years of Catholic school, but I am spiritual and I find that Joel Osteen delivers messages in a way that I relate to and can seep right into my soul. So, I read or listen to a few minutes of him most every day.
I won't make this crazy long, but know that I'm making some changes, going to put together some awesome information, share with you all the people that inspire me, publish my facebook page tomorrow!, and keep going. I've realized that I will have to step outside of fear in order to accomplish a few goals that I have. Bear with me...even in silence send me some well wishes and warm vibes!

Coming up on the blog:
  1. Details of my facebook page
  2. Why Insanity sucks for my joints
  3. How green smoothies and juices keep me on track even when I'm off track
:) :)


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