Wednesday, July 31, 2013

Just When I Thought I Had It All Figured Out

Just when I got on track ...and feel things are starting to make sense. Everything has changed. Every single thing.

I took Kennedy to her neurosurgeon yesterday and the results were not good. I don't feel strong enough to talk about all the details, but there is trouble now with the CSF flow to her brain again and now some very very very serious trouble with her spinal cord. It is life threatening and very serious.  My heart is shattered. Broken into a million pieces.

As a result, I didn't workout....I snacked all evening with her. Today I couldn't bring myself to do my training because I didn't get any sleep.

I told myself that I will use yesterday and today as the only days I am allowing myself to wallow. Tomorrow I will be training, eating well, and sleeping better. I just have to wrap my brain around all of this. I need to comfort my daughter, take a hot bubble bath and write in my journal.

I am devastated right now. The thought of another brain surgery, breaks my heart. I have 43 days until her next 5 hour spinal scan. I have that much time to prepare for a possible surgery...

Prayers please. Well Wishes please.


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